Grief and how I've dealt

I had zero intention of writing a post like this. I’d actually written a blog like this on my last blog space and loved it, put it to rest and moved on…..kind of. I guess you just never really move on from the loss of a loved one. It’s 12:30am, October 28th. Today would’ve been my youngest sister, Ashley, 27th birthday. I got to thinking a lot about her this weekend and just how incredibly much I miss her. She passed away a little over 3 years ago and some days it genuinely feels like yesterday. I am no pro at dealing with a loved one passing but I feel over the last few years I’ve, unfortunately, gotten a lot of experience with it. My grandma passed, then my dad and then my sister. I’ve made it very clear that nobody else in my family is allowed to pass away…ever.

Grief is one of those things that’s so complex and complicated.

Like I said I am no pro at grief. I see a therapist for this, among a multitude of other reasons. Everyone deals with grief in such different ways. I’ve found some things that have really helped me through the process so I thought I’d share those in case you are walking through some grief in your life.

One of the first things I think that’s majorly helped me through grief is my faith. Psalms 34:18 says “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I cannot tell you how many times I’ve felt so crushed in spirit. There are some days that sadness feels like it is consuming me. I literally repeat this verse to myself constantly. I know that there was a plan in all of this and even though I’ll probably never know God’s plan for why this all happened I have complete faith that something amazing will come out of this sadness.

I love honoring a loved one on a special day.

Something else I love doing that’s helped me with the grieving process is I try to do something that would honor them on a special day. For example, Ashley loved Taco Bell something fierce. So, instead of going to a nice mexican restaurant today I’ll be at the closest Taco Bell eating her favorites. On my dad’s birthday I go to his favorite restaurant. It’s just a nice way to reflect on all the fun times we had together.

Another thing that’s really helped me is reading. I just finished reading a book called It’s Not Supposed to be this Way by Lisa Teurkerst and it was seriously life changing. Not only does reading take my mind off of things but it’s also been a great place for advice and guidance on how to walk through grief. I just picked up a book called “It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok” and I’m looking forward to starting that.

I know grief is never a fun thing to talk about or walk through. The death of a loved one can feel so lonely and isolating. If you ever need help, a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on I’m here. I have learned over the years that grief shouldn’t be something you deal with alone. It’s always great to have some support. I’m here for you and praying for you.

XOXO

Jess