2022
I had a friend encourage me to start journaling. I’ve never necessarily thought of myself as a talented writer but it is something I enjoy. I am going to try to start using my blog as my personal journal. I don’t know yet how much I want to share here but I’m going to start with some 2022 goals. That seems like a safe start, hopefully.
In no particular order, let’s discuss some 2022 goals for me.
1. Continue to make my children a priority and make sure they know how incredibly loved they are daily. If you know me, or maybe even if you don’t, it’s no secret my kids are my world. I don’t even really remember life without them to be honest. I always wanted to be a mom and even though life turned out a little different than I imaged I am so, so thankful for them.
2. Prioritize ME. I’m going to be honest, I’m awful at this. I’ve got people pleasing tendencies in my bones and that’s come at my own expense so many times. I want to start to make myself a priority, to care about my feelings, to (gasp) put them first sometimes. My feelings and what I want can come first, I’ve just got to learn to really be ok with that.
3. Quit fighting for people to love me. Whether it be friends, a relationship, whoever. I give so much love to others in relationships and I deserve that back. Wait for the right love. I deserve to be loved and I deserve to be loved unconditionally. I know it’s going to happen for me one of these days. I have to be willing to wait for it.
4. Continue to volunteer. The kids and I volunteered at a great place before Christmas and I want to commit to doing something like that once a month. I want them to know how important it is to give back. I want them to have the biggest hearts for people and making the world a beautiful place.
5. I want to find a job I LOVE. I love blogging, I truly do (even with the trolls). I wish I had the guts to go all into it. I did a lot of thinking during our Covid Christmas break about the things I love and I love this space. I’ve put a lot of time and effort into this over the last 4+ years that I’m not ready to let it go because some a-hole wants to write me a mean message. I don’t know what that necessarily means going forward here but I think there will be a lot more writing, maybe more clothes and lots of family.
6. Which kind of leads me to my next goal. This might be one of the hardest ones I’ll have to accomplish this year but I’m going to put in A LOT of work here. I have to quit caring what other people think about me. I have to. The opinions of others is something that brings me constant stress. I have made so many mistakes in life. I’m going to continue to make mistakes but if I can forgive myself then I’ve got to be able to tune out the noise from others and their opinions on my life.
7. Which leads me to my last goal. Forgiving myself. I’m crying as I type this because it feels impossible but I have to do it. I’ve beat myself up for years and years for mistakes I’ve made and I continue to do that. I know it’s so unhealthy but there’s just something so hard about forgiving yourself. Especially when it seems others are so quick to throw your mistakes in your face even years down the road. Forgiving others? No problem. Myself? That’s another story. I know this will take lots of therapy, probably lots of reading and lots and lots of prayers.
I know there’s so much left to my story and I’m so ready to write a beautiful one in 2022.
xoxo
Jess